Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
We got so high we made milksteak
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
this just has baby written all over it
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
