Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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