Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize