You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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