Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
