Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
