its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
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