i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
handjob tips. give me some.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I need to sanitize my soul.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
