Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
