Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
