Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
