shes about as inviting as chlamydia
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
