So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
