he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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