it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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