The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
