Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
