Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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