Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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