Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
