I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize