I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
