Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize