We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
