i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
