I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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