I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
