from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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