this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i dont even know how to be here
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
