I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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