I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
