If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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