we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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