So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
