So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
