I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize