Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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