Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
