took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
