My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
