My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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