Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I need moral support for this bender
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
