I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
