I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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