so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Come on in and take your pants off
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