The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize