she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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