somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize