Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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