I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Less talking, more tequila
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
