I hate all girls vehemently.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
