Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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