All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
