What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
