And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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