Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
