I wanna passion pit in your ass
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
