I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
