He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
