how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
