Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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